Worried something might have happened to Amelia, I pulled on a pair of jeans and headed out.In the Masterton’s drive, a police car and an ambulance had their lights flashing; red and amber lighting the front garden turning blue blossoms black. At the bottom of their drive, a fire truck sat, with firemen patiently waiting. What had happened?Running up the drive, I was just in time to see medics wheel out a stretcher, Harold Masterton wearing an oxygen mask. Following close behind, Betty emerged from the front door looking flustered and worried in a rumpled dress.“What happened?” I asked.“It’s Harold. He’s gone and had a heart attack, the idiot,” Betty answered, her eyes turned to watch her husband being lifted into the ambulance.“Can I help? Can I do anything?” I asked.Betty looked at me with a vacant expression.“Do you want to go with Harold?” I asked. “I can keep an eye on Amelia.”“Oh, goodness! Amelia! I almost forgot about her.” She started looking around, her hands. After that, he voted Democrat.Six times in the last two elections.This one is compliments of DomBy happenstance, a man was in an accident, which removed his primary appendage. While in the hospital and under surgery, the doctor mentioned to the victim’s wife that a baby elephant had just died, the carcass was nearby for research, and the trunk could be considered a substitute penis. With nothing to lose, the spouse said go for it and the surgical team attached the trunk.Recovery was a success. Every function seemed to be working and when husband and wife went home, she was repeatedly delighted all night with the proof thereof.The following morning with great appreciation she had a complete spread of breakfast waiting for her man. He came down in a bathrobe, sat at the table, and was about to sample everything on the plate when suddenly the new and very facile trunk came up over the edge of the table, grabbed two biscuits, then retreated away and back down.She laughed, applauded, and.
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